When Heaven and Earth Changed Places: A Vietnamese Woman's Journey from War to Peace

It was from her father that Hayslip learned many of the important values that she discusses in the book. Weary about the war, Hayslip’s father did not want her to take risks. When Hayslip acted as a sentry, her father sent the signals to the Viet Cong whenever possible to protect her. A non-violent man, he did not beat his wife as others commonly did. Above all, he valued his family and taught Hayslip The Importance of Family Over Abstract Labels. Love for one’s family and ancestors constituted right and anything that got in the way of that was wrong, he instructed. He was connected to the land and would not leave it when Hayslip and her mother had to flee, although he missed them terribly. Her father also stressed the need to accept things and survive above all else. He grounded Hayslip’s philosophy about Breaking the Cycle of Vengeance and Mistrust. Although he was initially very angry with Hayslip for having a child out of wedlock, he ultimately forgave her and was gentle with her son.

Through her beloved father, Hayslip demonstrates The Devastating Impact of War in Vietnam on the psyche. The war deprived him of access to his family. After Hayslip and her mother fled, her father lived alone. His two sons were fighting, and his adult daughters scattered. He tried to nurture his land but it was being destroyed by the war. Ultimately, the war broke him. On his second attempt, he died by suicide.

Hayslip’s mother refused to give up on her. From the time of her birth, when Hayslip was premature and expected to die, her mother nurtured her. Stricter than her father, Hayslip’s mother taught the importance of hard work and obedience. She explained the importance of pleasing one’s husband and mother-in-law according to traditional Vietnamese culture. Horrified at the prospect of her two sons fighting on different sides in the war, her mother encouraged Sau Ban to go to Saigon and find a way to fight for the north. In highlighting that dilemma, Hayslip again exposes The Devastating Impact of War in Vietnam.

During her banishment from Ky La, Hayslip’s mother cared for her. In Saigon, Hayslip was hospitalized with an ulcer. Her mother stayed with her and befriended the nurses, who in turn helped her and Hayslip find employment. When Hayslip became pregnant with Anh’s child and they were both dismissed from good employment, Hayslip’s mother was angry with her. However, she stuck by her and accompanied her to Danang. She stayed with her during childbirth and then cared for Hayslip’s son. Hayslip’s mother’s actions demonstrate the importance of family. Later, in 1986, when Hayslip returned to Vietnam, her mother reconciled with her even though she left the country without telling her. More significantly, her mother forgave Ba for keeping Hayslip’s gifts and allowed her to come to the family reunion. In so doing, her mother demonstrated the benefits of Breaking the Cycle of Vengeance and Mistrust.

Only five years older than Hayslip, Sau Ban was the brother closest in age to her. Through her memories of Sau Ban, Hayslip highlights the peace and joy of peasant life between the wars with the French and the Americans. She considers her childhood in those years to be idyllic. A kind person, Sau Ban was drafted by the Republicans. Because his brother Bon had gone to fight for the north, the family was horrified that two brothers could be fighting one another. Here, Hayslip exposes the strain on families that the war caused. Ultimately, Sau Ban got to the north and fought for the Viet Cong. He was allegedly killed when returning home for a holiday, yet his body was not recovered. For that reason, his mother took a long time to accept his death. Through the story of Sau Ban, Hayslip thus highlights The Devastating Impact of War in Vietnam, the loss of a beloved family member, and the difficulty of grief in the absence of a body and traditional rites of mourning.

Hayslip’s older sister, Lan, lived in Danang during the war. She worked as a barmaid at places frequented by US soldiers, and she dated several Americans. Through Lan’s experiences, Hayslip exposes the power differential between Vietnamese women and American soldiers. Lan’s boyfriends became abusive at times and in one instance, almost killed her. Hayslip saved Lan’s life in that instance.

When Hayslip and her mother had to leave Saigon, they returned to Danang and Lan took Hayslip in for a time. The relationship between the two sisters was turbulent. Hayslip feared the American soldiers and she did not wait on them in Lan’s absence. Lan thus evicted Hayslip but later took her back. Lan paid Hayslip’s childbirth bills, perhaps in gratitude for Hayslip’s saving her life. Lan, in helping Hayslip, demonstrates the importance of family. Lan later emigrated to the US and was not in Vietnam for the 1986 reunion. Hayslip does not discuss their relationship in the US.

Hayslip’s oldest brother, Bon Nghe, did not feature much in her narrative of the war years. He left when she was young to train in Hanoi and to fight for the Viet Cong. However, he played an important role in Hayslip’s return trip to Vietnam in 1986. Because she was an American who was labeled an enemy to the Viet Cong, she feared her brother’s reaction to her. As Hayslip describes her interactions with Bon in 1986, she notes the courage needed for Breaking the Cycle of Vengeance and Mistrust. Initially, it was awkward with Bon, who worked for the government. Yet slowly the importance of family took precedence over abstract labels. It was in a conversation with Bon and her family that Hayslip explicitly made this point. Capitalism and communism, she explained, do not define human beings but are systems under which they live. While Bon would not accept Hayslip’s gifts, he expressed a willingness to work with her to improve life for the Vietnamese. In so doing, Bon represented the good people in the Vietnamese government who wanted to improve living standards. Later, he would work with Hayslip to make her foundations a reality in her old village of Ky La, later named Xa Hoa Qui, and Danang.

Ba, Hayslip’s older sister, had a husband who went north to fight with the Viet Cong. Her husband’s cousin, Chin, then coerced her into marrying him. Chin was a Republican official in the police and threatened the well-being of Ba and her family if she did not consent to marry him. Hayslip here documents The Devastating Impact of War in Vietnam, as this Republican used his power to force Ba into a marital relationship when she was already married. Ba’s father, although outraged, was unable to help her. Because Ba was married to a Republican official, she suffered after the Viet Cong won the war. Given her deprivation, she kept gifts sent by Hayslip that were intended for the whole family. For this reason, Hayslip’s mother was not speaking to her and would not allow her initially to see Hayslip at the family reunion. However, Hayslip’s mother decided to break the cycle of vengeance and allowed Ba to come. At the reunion, Ba and her brother Bon, a Communist official, sparred at first. However, family ties prevailed and they made peace.

Hayslip’s oldest sister, Hai, was widowed with a young daughter during the war with the French. She moved to Saigon to find work and raise her child. Accepting menial work, life was difficult for Hai. When Hayslip and her mother fled to Saigon in fear of the Viet Cong, Hai was initially cold toward them. She was not in a position to help them but did what she could for them. After Hayslip’s father died, Hai returned to Ky La to work the land. In 1986, when Hayslip approached Hai in the market, Hai brushed her off. It was still dangerous in 1986 to be on friendly terms with an American. She was friendly in private, however. Via Hai’s story, Hayslip exposes the difficult plight of widows, of which there were many during this time in Vietnam, and the strength of ties to family and ancestral lands.

When first introduced by Hayslip, Chin was a bad character. Chin was a police official with the Republican side in the war. He coerced her sister Ba to marry him under threat of violence to her family. Yet he then twice helped out Hayslip when she was arrested for her Viet Cong activities, saving her from more torture and imprisonment. After the second time, he told her that he would not help her again. Because Chin was a Republican official, he was sent to a re-education camp for five years after the war. While Hayslip does not describe the conditions there, it is obvious from his broken state that they were brutal. In the end, Chin turned out to be a decent husband and father to his children. Through him, Hayslip shows the complexity of people and the costs to humanity of the cycle of vengeance.

The father of Hayslip’s first child, Anh, was a wealthy owner of textile factories when Hayslip met him during the war. Hayslip and her mother worked in his household. The work was not difficult and their needs were met after a time of deprivation in Saigon. Anh was attracted to Hayslip, and the feeling was mutual. Although they had intercourse only once, Hayslip became pregnant. Anh’s wife, Lien, knew that Anh was the father and dismissed Hayslip and her mother from the household. She allowed Anh to provide money for them but only if they left Saigon. Thus, Hayslip and her mother had to return to Danang. The intermediary in Danang never delivered the promised payments to them.

Later, in 1986, Anh played a major role in Hayslip’s visit. He was divorced from Lien but in a long-term relationship with another woman with whom he had children. Anh was delighted to see pictures of his son, and he escorted Hayslip on her official visits and accompanied her to Danang. He introduced her to Communist officials who had the best interests of the Vietnamese people in mind as well as old friends who were bitter and drowning in self-pity. He thus showed her the complexity of the new Vietnam and provided good advice to her. For example, when Hayslip feigned illness near her old village of Ky La, he sternly warned her of the danger to her family if she were to go there. Hayslip’s mother was fond of Anh, and he played the role of a son-in-law at her funeral in 2006.

An older American contractor, Ed Munro, proposed marriage to Hayslip. Initially, she ran from Ed who had paid someone to introduce him to Hayslip. Yet Ed persisted and said that he was not interested in a sex worker but in companionship. His offer of marriage gave Hayslip a ticket to the US. She was torn, however, because she was not in love with him and he was much older than she. She considered herself not to have good marriage prospects, though, given that she had a child out of wedlock, and so she consented to the marriage. She had another son with Ed before she left Vietnam. Ed treated Hayslip well and he was able to pay the expensive bribes that it took to get her oldest son adopted and to get passports for all three. In describing the process of obtaining the official permissions to leave, Hayslip exposes the corruption of the Republican regime. Hayslip was able to leave Vietnam well before the fall of Saigon and join Ed, who died just a couple of years later, in San Diego.

Red was one of a few American boyfriends who took advantage of Hayslip. Initially, he was kind to her. Noticing that she was being sexually harassed at her job at the hospital, he secured her transfer to another department. He began dating and ultimately living with her. As the relationship progressed, he encouraged Hayslip to quit her good job at the hospital and take a more lucrative one dancing at a bar. Hayslip agreed and then learned it was a topless bar. She then refused to do so. At that time, Red showed his true colors and said that she was easily replaced with another Vietnamese woman. Hayslip emphasizes The Devastating Impact of War in Vietnam for women, as so many foreign soldiers like Red took advantage of them. Hayslip had two other serious relationships with American soldiers, one of whom became so violent with her that he almost strangled her and the other who left her without a word.