The Book of the Courtier

Book 3 begins with Castiglione remarking: “how greatly superior was Urbino to all other courts of Italy” (207). The party returns to the subject of the ideal courtly lady. The Duchess wishes to see her “well adorned” and the conversation turns to heraldry. While there are some who would rather return to the topic of the courtier, Niccolo Frigio, a German diplomat and friend to both Castiglione and Bembo, contends that women “adorn” courts and “inspire” courtiers (210). With this, the Magnifico assumes his task from the preceding night. The ideal courtly lady should in no way resemble a man, but like the male courtier, she should be of noble birth, elegant, and well-mannered. Her looks and virtue are more important than for a man. She should be a good mother and charming in conversation, avoiding gossip. Chaste and virtuous women are valued more highly. In her conversation she should be attentive to status and tone, and “ought to be on her guard lest she arouse distaste” (213). 

Gaspare interjects to claim that the Magnifico has been too general. Women should not, the Magnifico continues, engage in sports, and if they play music or dance, they should refrain from “stridency” (215). A woman should be knowledgeable about the arts and amusing, yet exercise modesty and discretion. Her grace, prudence, and magnanimity should shine in everything she does. Gaspare comments that women are not inferior to men, yet their birth in place of a man is a “defect” (217) of nature. The Magnifico contradicts this by saying that men and women are human and “differ in their accidents not in their essence” (218). Physical strength, even among men, is not of the highest value, and women are men’s intellectual equals. Women’s qualities make them better mothers, and there are many examples in history of learned and capable women. Women are not a defect of nature, since without them the human race would end.

Gaspare says he will omit details because the women would not understand them, and argues that men are more perfect than women, because women want to be men. The Magnifico responds that this is untrue, women only want to free themselves from the tyranny men have imposed on them. Men are hot and women are cold, but only in relation to each other. Frigio reminds the group of the sin of the first woman. The Magnifico responds that this was repaired by the Virgin Mary. Furthermore, “under a veil of holiness,” the church stirs up acrimony between husband and wife (224). Emilia reproved the Magnifico for “speaking ill of friars” (225). Gaspare asserts that there are no examples of women’s virtue. The Magnifico disagrees, providing several examples, including: Octavia, wife of Mark Anthony; Portia, Cato’s daughter; and Cornelia, Scipio’s daughter.

Alexandra, wife of Alexander, quelled the civil unrest her husband had caused. Other examples include Epicharis, who remained silent under torture, and Leona, to whose honour the Athenians dedicated a triumphal gate. The Magnifico cites the example of a woman who bravely drank hemlock in the presence of Sextus Pompey. Signor Gaspare recalls an oration in which an unhappy husband petitions the senate to allow him to drink hemlock, to escape his wife. These are many such wives, returns the Magnifico, and wives love their husbands more than their husbands love them. Synattus, a suitor of Camma, killed her husband, but she would not cede to the suitor’s solicitations. Forced to marry Synattus, Camma poisoned them both at the wedding. Another wife, hearing of her husband’s escape from prison, died on the spot. Gaspare suggests that she loved her husband too much. The Magnifico claims that women were more responsible for the greatness of Rome than men. After the fall of Troy, the Trojan women burned their ships and there Rome was founded. Later, the Sabine women ended wars with Rome through their expressions of public grief. The women of Chios defended the city where the men had failed.

Signor Gaspare exclaims that these deeds are all long past. The Magnifico then cites many modern women, including the Countess, as examples of virtue. The pair argue over who is more virtuous, King Ferdinand or Queen Isabella of Spain. The Magnifico cites numerous Italian ladies of high reputation. Signor Gaspare says that the lack of chastity in women is more dangerous than in men, since children are involved. The Magnifico responds, if men are of higher worth it should be easier for them to comport themselves properly, and women cannot be unchaste alone. Gaspare claims that women are chaste out of shame not virtue, and that virtue is their only merit, because men are in power. Alexander the Great, Pericles, and Xenocrates are examples of great men. Cesare counters Gaspare’s claims, adding that men often slander women and then the women are tortured. He gives the example of young lovers, separated forever when the girl’s father marries her to a richer man. After three years of chastity and despair the girl dies. Women are more abstinent than men.

Gaspare refutes these claims by arguing that modern women are not like this. Cesare gives several examples of virtuous young women from their modern Italy. A girl in Rome was importuned by a man who suffocated her when she refused. Cesare praises the Duchess for maintaining widowhood despite the hardship it causes her, but she stops him. Men cajole and seduce women relentlessly, Cesare says, yet if she yields, she is not afforded “the mercy that is often shown even to murderers, thieves, assassins and traitors” (255). Without women, men would be “wild” and “lack charm” (255). Knights are inspired by their love for their wives. Women’s presence also produces “charming recreations” such as dancing and poetry.

Federico Fregoso asks the Magnifico what the court lady will occupy herself with. The Magnifico begins by saying she should discern who loves her truly. She should always refuse suitors and believe them to be flatterers. Married women, however unhappy, should never stray. Unmarried courtly ladies should entertain true lovers only by encouraging them towards virtue. Different kinds of men love different kinds of women. Women should be taught how to love, says Unico Aretino, so that they do not fall for deceivers. Men should show their love by serving and pleasing women. Emilia accuses Unico of fooling his lovers. Bernardo suggests that the lover should reveal his love clearly yet modestly. The Magnifico contests that the lover should reveal his love more by action than speech. His love should be concealed from others, but the courtier should not practice deceit. To keep an affair secret, lovers should use intermediaries. Signor Gaspare argues that women toy with men, and trick them into believing they are loved. Finally, Signor Ottaviano reflects that Gaspare has over-criticised women, and the Magnifico and Cesare overpraised them, and there has been no time to discuss the ideal courtier. This is put off until the following night.