Regretting You

An aspiring actress, Clara begins the novel at 16 years old. She represents the theme of The Transition from Childhood to Adulthood. Overwhelmed by her parents’ unrelenting protection of her, Clara desires to break free. A chance meeting with the elusive Miller on the side of the road offers Clara the opportunity to pursue her first serious relationship and learn from her own mistakes. Her encounter with Miller occurs right before the sudden loss of her father and beloved aunt in a tragic car accident. Desperate to distract herself from her grief, Clara begins a relationship with Miller against her mother’s wishes and starts a journey of independence that threatens to damage her relationship with her mother forever.

Through her relationship with Miller, Clara explores drugs and sex as rebellious acts. Despite her use of Miller as a form of escape, Clara builds a genuine bond with him that provides her deep comfort amid her grief. Morgan’s disapproval of their relationship leads Clara to distance herself from her mother, and she ignores her suspicions of the romantic nature of her mother and Jonah’s relationship. When she walks in on Jonah and Morgan kissing, Clara spirals. Believing that her mother and Jonah betrayed Chris and Jenny, Clara lashes out. It is only when Miller refuses to be a pawn in Clara’s attempts at revenge against her mother that Clara realizes how her rebellion has affected those around her. After a drunken escapade, during which Morgan cares for her, Clara softens to her mother and agrees to talk with her, relenting to the urging of Miller and Jonah. Their conversation marks their first open dialogue, signifying the beginning of a resolution between them.

Clara also grapples with The Nuances of Grief. For most of the novel, she believes Jenny and Chris died because she was texting Jenny and distracting her from driving. Her rebellious behavior is driven, in part, by the immense guilt she feels. This is paired with her survivor’s guilt, which she experiences when she notices her own happiness around Miller. Clara only learns of the truth of her father and aunt’s affair in Chapter 33, but by then, she has matured and begun to reconcile with Morgan. Despite the pain of her aunt and father’s betrayal, Clara exhibits a grace and maturity that signals to Morgan that Clara is no longer a child. Now empathetic toward her mother’s struggles, Clara learns to appreciate her mother’s sacrifices and finds love and support from those around her.

A childhood friend of Chris and Morgan, Jonah dated Morgan’s sister Jenny when they were teenagers, while also harboring intense feelings for Morgan. Described as “quiet,” Jonah functions as Chris’s foil throughout the novel (3). His responsible, mature manner matches Morgan’s. When Jonah begins to confess his feelings for Morgan as a teenager, she interrupts him and divulges that she is pregnant with Chris’s child. This pushes Jonah away from his hometown for over 17 years. After reconnecting with Jenny and discovering he is the father of her child, Jonah returns and struggles to rebuild a friendship with Morgan, who avoids him. As he attempts to navigate life after the accident, he grapples with the lies Jenny told him about his son’s paternity and with his continued attraction toward Morgan.

Jonah, like Morgan, experiences The Nuances of Grief because Jenny and Chris’s deaths are tied directly to their betrayal of himself and Morgan. When Jonah learns of Chris and Jenny’s affair, he becomes devastated that the son he has raised is not biologically related to him. Overcome by anger, he abandons Elijah with Morgan until Morgan convinces him to abide by his selfless ways and maintain his bond with his adopted son. In turn, Jonah aids Morgan as she navigates the grief of losing Chris and Jenny and parenting her newly rebellious daughter. Jonah pushes Morgan to confront the past and focus on what brings her joy. He guides Morgan through coping with their mutual sorrow and anger, and he acts as a bridge between Clara and Morgan, gently supporting them both. Through his unrelenting devotion to Morgan, Clara, and Elijah, Jonah becomes a father figure for Clara and Elijah and the true love of Morgan’s life.

Clara’s boyfriend, Miller is an aspiring filmmaker who cares for his dying grandfather. Clara and Miller connect over their love for film and acting as well as their shared struggles with grief. After hiding a crush on Clara for three years, Miller finally confesses his feelings and begins a relationship with her that teaches them both about the power of first love.

Loyal and considerate, Miller initially distances himself from Clara due to his relationship with another girl. When Clara experiences the loss of her father and aunt, Miller reappears in Clara’s life and guides her through the early days of her grief. Together, Miller and Clara explore the rebellion of youth while building an unshakable connection. Despite Morgan’s disapproval, Miller continues to serve as a comforting force in Clara’s life. Much like Morgan and Jonah were for Jenny and Chris, Miller provides the mature stability opposite Clara’s reckless rebellion. Despite his deep love for Clara, Miller does not hold back from telling her when her actions negatively impact him. Miller’s example and steadfast morality help Clara mature throughout the novel. He maintains his duty toward his grandfather and delays his own pursuit of film school. Ultimately, his loyalty to his family offers Miller a chance to begin the life he always dreamed of when he learns of an unexpected, sizeable inheritance from his grandfather. 

The opposite of her older sister Morgan, Jenny works as a nurse at a local hospital and maintains a close relationship with her sister, niece, and brother-in-law. Throughout her life, she seeks adventure and often relies on her sister Morgan to parent her. Jenny serves as the bridge between Morgan and teenage Clara, who struggle to connect.

Most of Jenny’s relationships are founded on deception. Despite her close connection with Clara, Jenny maintains a front of knowledge while relying on Morgan to help her provide advice to Clara. Years after their initial teenage relationship, Jenny reconnects with Jonah, first as a one-night stand and later as a steady relationship. She lies to Jonah about Elijah’s paternity and hides the ultimate betrayal: that she is having an affair with her sister’s husband and that he, not Jonah, is the father of her child.

Jenny serves as a point of contention throughout the novel. In the aftermath of her death, Morgan and Clara struggle to reconnect without Jenny’s presence. Once he learns of Jenny’s betrayal, Jonah grapples with his role in Elijah’s life. Her short presence within the work initiates multiple conflicts and leads Morgan, Clara, and Jonah down their individual paths of healing and growth.

Morgan’s husband of over 17 years, Chris changes very little from his youth to adulthood. Described as immature throughout the novel, Chris maintains a youthful appearance. As a father, he is overprotective of his daughter Clara and strives to set her up for financial stability. Determined to protect Clara from the mistakes he made, Chris is strict with Clara and bars her from pursuing acting in college. He also forbids her relationship with Miller. His role as a dedicated father contrasts with his infidelity. Morgan discovers Chris’s deception only after his death, which fuels Morgan to abandon her rigid routine and seek out a life of purpose. Chris’s devotion as a father leads Clara to never question his loyalty to her mother, a fact that increases the conflict between Morgan and Clara. To protect Clara, Morgan maintains Clara’s naive perspective of her father. When Clara discovers the truth of her father’s affair, his image is shattered. His actions cause Clara to question her own ability to stay loyal to those she loves and helps Clara find common ground with her mother.