Parvana's Journey

“A rusty Soviet tank stood on the top of the hill, hidden by some boulders. The children scrambled on it like it was the swing set Parvana dimly remembered from her old schoolyard in Kabul. They played battle, shooting each other with finger-guns until they were all dead, then jumping up to do it all again.” 

Through the presence of an abandoned Soviet tank, Ellis shows how war has been part of the Afghanistan landscape for a long time. Furthermore, she shows the way the country’s children grew up with war; they never knew life without a war. They proudly show Parvana this tank and pretend to kill each other, using the tank as their playground. The children’s games are a heartbreaking picture of the way war and death have become a normalized part of life in Afghanistan. 

“‘Some people are dead before they die,’ her father once told her. ‘They need quiet, rest, a special doctor who knows of such things, and a glimpse of something better down the road. But where will they find these things in this camp? It is hard enough to find a blanket. Avoid these people, Parvana. You cannot help them, and they will take away your hope.’” 

When Parvana encounters the woman wailing on the hillside, she remembers her father’s words that these kinds of people are already dead inside. Later, Parvana meets Leila’s grandmother, who similarly has lost all hope and sense of self. However, Grandmother eventually shows signs of life and strength. People such as Grandmother and the wailing woman serve as examples of the extreme mental and emotional damage of war. 

“There had been a war going on in Afghanistan for more than twenty years. Someone was always bombing someone else. Lots of bombs had fallen on Kabul. Bombs had fallen everywhere.” 

War has been a part of the Afghanistan landscape since before Parvana was born. Bombing has been ongoing for so long that nowhere in the country is exempt from destruction. This quote educates the reader on the constant turmoil of Parvana’s nation.  

“He’s not my problem. In the morning I’ll leave him behind. I’ve got to find my family, and he will just slow me down. Maybe I should leave the baby behind, too. These boys are not my brothers. They are not my problem.” 

In a letter to Shauzia, Parvana confesses her frustration towards Asif. He has been nothing but rude to her even though she takes care of him. Parvana’s thoughts about leaving behind Asif and Hassan show how the human instinct for survival can easily overtake compassion. Ellis highlights how extreme hardships easily bring out the worst in people, and how kindness is yet another casualty of the war.

“It’s hard to remember that I used to sleep in a bed and had to do my homework before I could watch television and play with my friends. It’s hard to remember that we used to have ice cream and cakes to eat. Was that really me? Did I really leave a big piece of cake on my plate one day because I didn’t feel like eating it? That must have been a dream. That couldn’t have been my life.” 

Ellis uses Parvana’s letters to Shauzia to reveal Parvana’s thoughts and feelings. Here, Parvana reflects on her life in Kabul before the bombing. That life differs so greatly from the one she lives now that she has a hard time believing it was real. Her words show how drastically her circumstances and identity changed. They also remind the reader that Parvana used to have a life that probably resembles the reader’s own. Her memories of school, television, friends, and treats allow the reader to relate to her and to see how radically the war has changed her life. 

“‘In that case,’ Asif said, ‘I’ll come. Just to annoy you.’ Parvana felt a strange, surprising relief. She had known, deep inside, that she wouldn’t have been able to leave him behind.” 

Asif’s words, claiming that he will stay with Parvana just to bother her, highlight the tough exterior he maintains to protect himself from hurt. Ellis uses repetition of these words from Asif throughout the novel to highlight his bond with Parvana and his need to save face. Parvana’s reaction to Asif’s decision to come with her shows that, despite her annoyance with Asif, she has grown attached to him, too. Her sense of relief shows that her compassion remains intact along with her need for human connection.

“They sat and sang and watched for shooting stars, until they were both so tired they were able to fall asleep again, even with the ache in their empty bellies and the sharp rocks under their backs.” 

Parvana and Asif share a rare moment of closeness as they sing together under the stars. Here, Ellis gives readers a glimpse of the boy who lies underneath Asif’s tough exterior. In the hardest of times, singing often assuages the children’s fear, gives them a morale boost, and brings them closer together. 

“I’m tired of having to remember things. I want someone else to do the remembering.” 

When Parvana, Asif, and Hassan get sick from drinking pond water without boiling it, Parvana feels bad for forgetting. He parents used to be the ones who reminded her to boil the water, but now she doesn’t have either of them. Her words express her frustration at growing up too quickly because of the war. She doesn’t want to be a leader or be in charge of taking care of everyone, but the war has forced her to take on this role. 

“Parvana was furious with herself for sharing her dream with Asif, but mostly for having a dream in the first place. His leg would not grow back, there would never be enough food, and unboiled water would always make people sick.” 

Parvana has a vibrant imagination, and she uses it at this point to dream of an escape from her present circumstances. However, her imagination—and childhood—is slipping away. She knows that dreaming will not change the horrible things she faces. The war forced her to grow up quickly, and she is losing her ability to dream, believe, and hope for a better future. 

“Asif threw a stone at Parvana’s shoulder. ‘You led us into a mine field!’ he hollered, his rage making his voice even louder than Hassan’s screams. ‘You are the stupidest girl. With all your writing and all your France, you don’t know what you’re doing! We will all be blown up! You are stupid, stupid!’ As he yelled at her, his hand kept grabbing at the place where his leg used to be.” 

Asif’s reaction of anger towards Parvana when they end up in a minefield highlights the way fear can reveal itself as anger. Ellis hints that Asif lost his leg from a mine explosion by describing his gestures towards his missing leg and his extreme reaction to their situation. His words show how those who come across as mean and angry are often the most hurt inside. Instead of opening up about his past, Asif copes with the trauma in his life by lashing out at others. 

“This was what happened to grownups when they became too sad to keep going. She wondered whether it would ever happen to her, too.” 

Seeing Leila’s grandmother in her unresponsive state reminds Parvana of the woman on the hillside. Both women completely lost hope because of the sadness and loss they endured. The war shows no signs of coming to an end soon, so Parvana wonders if the same thing will eventually happen to her. Ellis shows the immense emotional toll the war takes through these characters that seem to already be dead on the inside. She also illustrates how young people are faced with responsibilities and worries that are far beyond their years because of the war. 

“A peddler got blown up in the mine field. That was a really good day. We got all these things.” 

Leila’s statement expresses happiness for the peddler’s death, showing how war has desensitized her and taken away her ability to see the horrifying nature of her situation. She relies on her survival instinct out of necessity, and therefore, she cannot recognize the disturbing nature of her excitement over a person’s death. Through Leila’s character, Ellis highlights the way war strips young children of sensitivity and morality and replaces it with an instinct of self-preservation.  

“Parvana read back over what she had written, thinking how lovely it would be to have all those things. Then she realized that for her wishes to come true, some peddler would have to die. For a moment she wondered what she was becoming. Then she dismissed the question. ‘I didn’t create this world,’ she said to herself. ‘I only have to live in it.’” 

Parvana struggles throughout the novel between sympathy for others and her will to endure at all costs. In a letter to Shauzia, Parvana wishes that another peddler would come through the minefield so that she and the other children could get the supplies they need. Even after realizing that her wish involves a person’s death, she does not express horror at her insensitivity, but brushes it off instead. Just like Leila, she is becoming numb to the horrors of war. At this moment, it seems the war is gradually taking away the sweet, caring girl Parvana used to be and hardening her heart.

“‘I don’t know how to write,’ Leila said, crouching beside Parvana. ‘I’ve never been to school. My mother didn’t go. Neither did my grandmother. They wanted to send me, but now there’s no school.’” 

Leila’s lack of education reflects the situation of many women in Afghanistan. The fact that Parvana’s father valued his children’s education, including his daughters’, is not necessarily the norm. Many women lack access to education, and just like Leila, come from a line of women who never attended school. Ellis uses the education motif to educate readers on the position of women in Afghanistan.

“‘I kill pigeons,’ Leila said. ‘I don’t like to do it, but it’s not hard. It must be much harder to kill a goat or a donkey. Is it hard to kill a child?’ she asked suddenly.” 

Leila’s question is both shocking and heartbreaking. At a young age, Leila has been exposed to killing and violence because of the war. Through Leila’s question, Ellis shows how death—even the death of a child—has become normalized for Afghanistan’s children because they never knew a life without the presence of war. 

“Tanks were normal. Bombs were normal. Why couldn’t eating be normal?” 

Parvana’s thoughts after going several days without food show how things that are normal for Parvana are completely opposite from everyday life for most children in the Western world. For the young western reader, a life full of tanks and bombs and void of everyday essentials such as food and water is probably foreign. Ellis’s description of the effects of war on Parvana’s life provide the reader a likely unknown perspective of life in the Middle East. Parvana’s story educates the reader on what it’s like to be a child in war-torn Afghanistan. 

“Whatever she did now, she’d have to do it as a girl—a girl who was getting to be too old to be uncovered in public, according to the Taliban. She didn’t even have a head covering.”

After dressing as a boy for so long, Parvana now has no choice but to show her identity as a young woman. Ellis shows how Parvana’s position as a woman affects her safety and the way she is received by others, particularly the Taliban. Furthermore, Parvana’s worry about lacking a head covering highlights the cultural expectations for women in Afghanistan.

“Why did they want to kill Grandmother? She never knew anyone who put things on planes, so how would they even know her to kill her?” 

Leila’s question highlights the senselessness of the bombings and killings of the war. Grandmother and Green Valley posed no threat to either side, yet they were bombed. Ellis highlights many innocent civilians along with Grandmother who are killed or badly injured because of bombings that seem to accomplish nothing militarily. 

“‘I don’t even feel like me anymore,’ Parvana said, talking more to herself than to anyone else. ‘The part of me that’s me is gone. I’m just part of this line of people. There’s no me left. I’m nothing.’ ‘You’re not nothing,’ Asif said.” 

As they move forward in a mass of people headed towards the camp for Internally Displaced Persons, Parvana feels her sense of self slipping away. This quote highlights the identity struggle she wrestles with throughout the novel. Her life has changed drastically because of the war, and she is no longer the girl she used to be. 

“The nurse told me the purple fields of France really do exist. I hope you’re there. I wish I was.”

Parvana holds onto the hope that her friend Shauzia made it to France, and she yearns to meet her there one day. When she meets the nurse from France who confirms the existence of the lavender fields, Parvana fills with excitement and feels a connection to Shauzia. Even though Parvana feels like she is losing the ability to have faith, moments like this renew her hope for the future and help her press on. 

“Is this it? she wondered. Have I come so far, just to be here? Is this really my life?” 

Parvana thinks about her daily routine at the camp—waiting in endless lines and living in a tent in the midst of the crowded camp—and wonders how this could be her life. Ellis highlights Parvana’s thoughts to create a contrast between the life of comfort and normalcy she used to know and the life she now lives as a nomad, searching for her mother and barely finding enough food and water to survive. This contrast compels the reader to contrast his or her own life with Parvana’s, showing that her life before the bombing of Kabul was probably similar to the reader’s, yet the war changed everything by taking away her home and father, and separating her from her family.

“A man walked by carrying a baby. ‘Someone please buy my baby so I can feed my family,’ he pleaded. ‘My other children are starving. Someone please buy my baby!’ A loud, desperate cry reached Parvana’s ears, and she realized it was coming from her own mouth.” 

Ellis highlights the utter desperation of the people at the camp. Without using graphic descriptions of the camp conditions, Ellis manages to show the appalling circumstances in which people are living, and the lengths they will go to stay alive. Parvana has seen countless horrors, yet this situation in particular sends her into a state of shock. This moment highlights people’s desperation, Parvana’s distress, and the sweeping effects of war on every aspect of a person’s being. 

“I’m not alone this time. I have my old family—Mother, Nooria, and my little sister Maryam. And I have my new family—my two brothers, Hassan and Asif.” 

The novel begins and ends with a funeral. When her father dies, Parvana grieves his death alone, separated from her family. In contrast, when Leila dies, Parvana has her family—old and new—beside her. By creating this contrast, Ellis shows Parvana’s hope for the future. Although her circumstances are still horrible and grief remains, she no longer faces her sorrow alone. With her family beside her, she is stronger.