Goodbye, Vitamin

Ruth tries to create a counterfeit parking permit for Howard’s car based on a photo Theo sends her. In class, they learn about the California Gold Rush, and Ruth reflects that “Everything was a gamble back then. Everything maybe still is” (79). After class, Ruth goes to Theo’s apartment. She tells Howard that they are entering grades, but they eat takeout and read the notes Howard left on students’ papers. Ruth’s mind wanders as she marvels at the thoughtful comments her father made on the papers while a doctor at an appointment the other day referred to him as an Alzheimer’s patient.

Ruth continues to acclimate to life at home, inventing new yoga poses and trying her hand at a new recipe–Baked Alaska. She begins to wonder if she, too, is “losing it” (82) after she drops a library book in a mailbox and stamped mail into a trash can. She reads online that the youngest person ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s was 30 years old.

Ruth spends the weekend with Bonnie, and the two attend the Oscars Awards Ceremony as seat fillers. During a break in the bathroom, they discuss potential future career options, and afterward, they eat sushi at their friend Jared’s restaurant. At Bonnie’s apartment, Ruth convinces Bonnie to let her cut her hair, which turns out terrible.

The students propose having class outside because of the nice weather. Howard agrees and they have class at the Mission Saint Gabriel Cemetery. On the way home, Theo, Ruth, and Howard stop at In-N-Out Burger for dinner.

At home, Ruth’s parents watch a recording of the Oscars and Ruth notes that her father recalls all of the actors’ and actresses' names “like any regular, not sick person” (85). Annie spots Ruth and Bonnie and marvels at how close they were to Brad Pitt.

Ruth reads that sulforaphane, found in broccoli and produced in the body, “can help keep the brain sharp” (85). She cooks broccoli for both lunch and dinner. She writes that sometimes she switches up her cruciferous vegetable of choice for cauliflower, and she has added fish for omega-3s and berries for antioxidants to their diet. While she knows these dietary changes cannot reverse the harm already done, they may still be able to slow the effects of Howard’s illness.

While rummaging around in a junk drawer, Ruth finds divorce papers signed by both of her parents, dated two years earlier. Later that evening, Ruth confronts her mother about the divorce papers. Annie deflects and refuses to say anything. Ruth recalls a distant memory in which Annie left Linus crying in a soiled diaper all day until Howard got home to change it. She wonders what this could have meant because it was before “everything went wrong [...] wasn’t it?” (87).

Ruth searches for more evidence throughout the house and finds a list written by her mother in a different drawer. The items on the list appear to be examples of Howard’s memory loss, and below it: “Howard drunk; Howard causing me sadness. Howard, Howard, Howard” (88). In the glove compartment of her father’s car, she finds a family photo from a trip to Washington, DC. Annie tells Ruth that she will answer her questions later. Ruth wonders if her mother asked her to stay home because her mother did not want to be alone with Howard.

Class takes place off campus again the next week, and everyone crowds around a small café table to smell coffee bean samples. Ruth notices one student, Joan, always insists on sitting next to her father and tries to catch his eye. Ruth has a rush of realization and stops the thought from going any further. Outside, Ruth watches them speaking, and thinks “they look like two people who’ve slept together” (90). Ruth watches for a few moments longer, noticing her father pat Joan on the shoulder and shake his head, and then he sees Ruth and beckons her to hurry up so they can leave.

After the moment with Joan, Ruth admits that the reason she visited home so rarely was that she “wanted to preserve my memory of my perfect father. I didn’t want to know the many ways he’d hurt my mother” (91). She remembers that a few years ago, her father visited her in San Francisco while in town for a conference.

Joel joined Ruth and Howard for dinner but left early because he was on call. Howard and Ruth started to drink, which at first excited Ruth because it felt to her like “a way to be closer” (92). The night quickly took a turn, however, when it became clear that Howard was drinking “like it was a race” (92), with Ruth struggling to keep up. Eventually, Howard got very drunk and confessed to having an affair with the physics professor. Ruth remembers nothing after this but waking up fully clothed on the hotel couch. She recalls her father smelling of whiskey as he hugged her goodbye before leaving for the airport.

Ruth and her mother sit on the couch together watching television. During commercial breaks, Annie continues to dodge all of Ruth’s attempts to discuss all that has gone unsaid between them. Ruth notes that her father moves about his day without realizing what was happening. Ruth finally has enough and gets on a random bus, riding it to the last stop. She realizes that she is an hour away from home and decides to call Theo to ask him for a ride home.

Theo picks her up and does not ask any questions, instead telling her about his day. When they arrive at Ruth’s house, she asks him to sit and talk. She asks him about what happened between her father and Joan. Theo admits that there was some kind of flirtation between them, facilitated through text messages. He says that whatever happened between Howard and Joan is now over and asks if Ruth is going to be okay.

The next class takes place at a Chinese restaurant, and Howard lectures about the role Chinese people played in California’s history, such as constructing the railroad that would eventually connect the West and East coasts. Ruth watches as Joan tries to get her father’s attention, doting on him and pouring his tea.