Everything I Know About Love

1. General Impressions

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

• What do you think is the core message about the value of friendships and the pursuit of romantic love? Does Alderton prioritize one or the other? How did this make you feel?
• Does Alderton’s candid, funny tone help you relate to her story? What is its narrative effect, and how does this tone impact Alderton’s journey toward self-actualization? Did humor and candor make the harder experiences more accessible?
• How does the book’s non-linear structure complement Alderton’s casual, candid approach to life’s challenges? How does this differ from other memoirs that deal with growing up and realizing self-love? Consider, for example, a memoir like Wild, which follows a clear, linear journey. How does Alderton’s structural approach influence you as a reader?

2. Personal Reflection and Connection 

Connect the book’s themes and characters to personal experiences and perspectives.

• How do the experiences in the text align with your own experiences with romantic and platonic love? Did Alderton offer any insights that made you reassess either your friendships or your romantic relationships? If you look back on your life so far, have you valued one kind of love more, or have you been balanced in your need for both?
• Alderton’s matter-of-fact approach to her experiences with body image and disordered eating opens the topic of growing up in a society that often applies pressure to conform. How does this frank discussion make you feel? Did you feel disarmed, uncomfortable, understood, or anything in between?
• Do you maintain long-standing friendships, and if so, how have they changed through the process of growing up? If you haven’t maintained long-standing friendships, can you envision friends from your past in your current life?
• Consider the different ways that your friends experience life’s changes, particularly through transitions like reaching adulthood. Can differences between friends’ lives be a strength and source of additional wisdom, or is it harder to connect with friends who have different lived experiences?
• Do you think that your journey with self-love is complete? What do you love about yourself, and how have you learned to forgive yourself or others? What areas of self-love do you still need to work on?

3. Societal and Cultural Context 

Examine the book’s relevance to broader societal issues, cultural trends, and ethical dilemmas.

• How does Alderton’s memoir critique or reflect the societal pressure for women to conform to a fixed narrative in their lives? Does Alderton’s memoir represent a more alternative approach to life as a modern woman, or does this story mirror the lives of women you know?
• How does Alderton’s experience with mental health issues, specifically those related to beauty standards and issues of conformity, reflect societal pressure to look a certain way? How does Alderton push back against these pressures? How can humor be read as a form of resistance, and what conversations does humor facilitate? 

4. Literary Analysis

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and use of narrative techniques.

• Alderton’s balance of anecdotes and reflections offers a meditative approach that is similar to the thought process. How did this structure affect you in terms of impact and your relationship to the narrator? Does it remind you of any other mediums, such as television or film?
• How do the themes of female friendships and romantic love evolve throughout the text? Specifically, consider Dolly’s relationship with Farly. How does this friendship grow alongside life? How did their closeness wax and wane?
• Consider Dolly’s relationship with Nick and what it represents to her. What sparks her initial fascination: In what ways does Dolly want to believe in Nick’s potential? How does Dolly’s relationship with Nick, and their breakup in particular, launch her into a state of self-love and realization?
• Alderton uses humor and vulnerability to relate universal experiences of love, friendship, and heartache. How does this approach—not taking herself too seriously—pull you in as a reader? How does it affect your experience of deeper moments of reflection?
• How might a tone shift affect your connection to the experiences shared in the text? Could topics like breakups and friendship be made less interesting or more common if told in a more serious tone? How does the absence of melodrama affect your reading experience?

5. Creative Engagement

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book’s content and themes.

• Imagine Everything I Know About Love as a film or series. Which medium, long or short form, feels more appropriate for the material? Which narratives and relationships feel essential to an adaptation?
• Make a playlist for the text. How do you find humor intersecting with your musical choices? Pick a few artists that reappear in your playlist and consider how and why they reflect Alderton’s emotional and thematic journey.
• Imagine the next 10 years of Alderton’s life. How might her female friendships change as friends marry, begin to have kids, and grow in their careers? How might Alderton preserve or enhance these connections across the next major shifts in adulthood?

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