All Fours

The narrator arrives at the Buccaneer, horrified to discover that Davey is there with friends. However, she and Davey talk intimately throughout the evening. He reveals that he knows who the narrator is and intentionally cleaned her windshield and went to Fontana’s to meet her. He’s a big fan of her work and says he thought she canceled her trip for him. The narrator feels silly but notices an energy between them. They leave the bar and go to Room 321. As they stand close together, Davey says he can’t have sex with her because of Claire. They spend the rest of the evening sitting together, holding hands and looking at each other. That night, she can’t sleep and texts Davey in the morning, telling him what she wants to do to him. He texts back.

As the narrator prepares to see Davey again, Harris calls. He notices that she sounds distracted, and she attributes her mood to being on her own for so long. Later, she has a flashback to Sam’s birth and the NICU, as she has intermittently over the years.

The narrator meets Davey at Hertz. They get smoothies and return to the motel, where they spend the night talking, lying together, and looking at each other. The narrator’s mind drifts back to the weeks following Sam’s birth. She tried to find other FMH women online but found only one support group. All the mothers in the forum had birthed stillborn babies.

After Davey leaves, the narrator buys herself snacks and spends the night masturbating and thinking about him. The next time she sees him, he informs her that Claire thinks he’s with his friend Dev when they’re together. Dance is Davey’s secret passion, and Dev is his dance partner. Then Davey and the narrator agree that they can only tell one person about their relationship. Jordi is her person, but Davey won’t reveal who his person is. On Sunday, he comes over and performs a dance he prepared for the narrator. She initially feels embarrassed watching him, but then gives over to the dance. She’s moved by how it captures their feelings for each other. Afterward, he gets in the shower, and she sits in the bathroom talking to him. She thanks him for the dance and tells him it made her happy.

The narrator calls Jordi and tells her everything that’s happening with Davey. Jordi listens, but the narrator feels distance forming between them.

Davey only hangs out for an hour the next day because he has to help Claire with something. After he leaves, the narrator buys a giant spoon online for Sam and tells them about it on the phone. Sam Facetimes, and she pretends to show them the Manhattan skyline. Shortly thereafter, Claire and Davey arrive with the narrator’s mattress. Davey helps Claire bring it upstairs. The narrator and Claire remake the bed together.

The narrator waits at Hertz for Davey to finish his shift. The elderly woman next to her remarks on how she’s looking at Davey. The narrator tries to ignore her, but then she introduces herself as Irene, Davey’s mother. Davey looks up, horrified. The narrator leaves, but Irene follows her outside and insists on taking her to lunch. Over lunch, Irene reveals that she’s the one person Davey told about their relationship. She explains that Davey has always been sexually mature. She had her friend Audra act as his sexual mentor when he was young. Unsettled, the narrator leaves. Afterward, she confronts Davey about her conversation with Irene. He argues that Irene is open-minded and insists that he’s not just attracted to the narrator because of his history with Audra. Then he puts on an Arkanda song, and the narrator tells him about her upcoming meeting with the pop star.

On her last alleged night in the city, the narrator sends Harris and Sam a video of Room 321, pretending that she’s sad to leave.

Davey climbs through the narrator’s window the next day, using her pink lawn chair as usual. He lights a joint, and they smoke, dance, and listen to music. After he leaves, the narrator calls Jordi, admitting that she’s in love with Davey. Jordi reassures her. Off the phone, the narrator tries to comfort herself about the future.

The narrator and Davey drive into the hills to spend the day together. They put blankets on the ground and lie together, talking. Then Davey brings up Claire’s redecoration for the first time. He saw the project as the narrator’s way of telling him she wasn’t going to mess with his life and a way to help him and Claire. The narrator gets upset and then tells Davey she loves him. He won’t say it back and points out that she isn’t leaving Harris for him.

The next day, the narrator and Davey lie on her bed together. They touch each other but don’t have sex. They put on music and dance together. Afterward, they sit together, drinking juice. He leaves, and the narrator reflects on her life and relationship with Davey. Sometimes she feels guilty, but other times she doesn’t.

Davey tells the narrator about a sex dream he had in which he was intimate with his classmate Aaron Bannister. He talks about sex more openly than most men she has known. Over the following days, she and Davey grow closer, though she realizes they won’t have sex after all. One night while he’s using the bathroom, she puts her hand in his urine, and then he changes her tampon while she sits on his lap. Later, she tries asking him about their future, but he responds vaguely.

On Saturday, the narrator calls Harris and says she’s spending her last night in Monrovia. He’s confused as to why she’d stop 30 minutes from home. She spends her last night in Room 321 and arranges a late checkout so that she can see Davey before leaving. Before he arrives, Liza calls to say that Arkanda’s people canceled. The narrator feels confused and upset. When Davey comes over, he notices a motel painting under the bed, extracts it, and theorizes about the image. When they say goodbye, Davey says he thinks it’s best for them to stop talking altogether. He leaves abruptly and doesn’t turn around. Crying, the narrator gets in her car and drives away.